The Win Behind the Win: A Story About Character, Not Playing Time

I am an athlete.

I am moderately athletic — nothing elite, high-level, or professional by any stretch.
But growing up, I was coordinated enough, quick at learning, and in decent shape to try out for teams and work hard to get better at whatever skill I was practicing.

Times have changed. It doesn’t seem to quite work this way anymore.

So I find myself asking:

Why have times changed?

What are my expectations for my kids?

Is there something really important I want them to achieve?
Or something I still want to achieve myself?

The Apostle Paul reminds me: “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” — Philippians 2:3

In high school, I played Varsity basketball. But my main role wasn’t scoring points or leading the

offense. I was the girl who played tough defense in practice so the starters could sharpen their

skills. I was the one the crowd cheered wildly for when I got to go in during the last five minutes — when we were already up by forty. Some might look at that and say, “Why bother being on the team if you barely play?”

I’ll tell you why: Because I grew and learned from doing something hard.

James 1:12 says,  “Blessed is the one who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.”

Honestly, it was hard to sit on the bench most of my senior year and not be out on the court

playing. But it grew me in so many ways.

I learned how to be a team player — what it looks like and feels like to support others in their

success. I learned how to be an encourager. It’s one thing to sit on the bench and be present, and

it’s another thing to cheer your teammates on, lift them when they’re down, and celebrate their

wins as if they were your own.I learned humility. It's okay to be part of something and not be the best at it. I learned that people who love you will show up no matter how much you’re “in the game”. It didn’t matter if I played 30 seconds, 30 minutes, or not at all — my family was always there to support me. What

mattered to me mattered to them.

I also learned that being part of a team isn’t just about game day. The effort I gave in practice —

pushing the starters, playing tough defense, being fully present — helped them succeed when it

counted. That year our team broke several records. Our names are still on a plaque in the school.

We almost made it to the state finals. Even though my minutes were minimal, I still got to

experience what it feels like to be part of a winning team, not because I scored the points, but because I played the role God had for me. These were valuable lessons that stretched far beyond what I realized at the time.

And now, as a parent, I can’t help but notice how different things feel today.

Yes, times have changed in the competitive sports world. Expectations look different for every

family. Opportunities come earlier, pressure feels heavier, and achievement often becomes a

measuring stick for worth — sometimes without us even realizing it.

And if I’m honest, there’s something in all of us — in our human, sinful nature — that desires

success. We want our kids to shine. We want them to belong. Sometimes we even feel old

dreams or insecurities resurfacing as we watch them grow.

So where does that leave me as a parent?

What can I give my child that will matter forever?

What can I offer that will:

Point them back to Scripture as their source of truth,

Teach them to trust God’s timing over the world’s pressure,

And grow their character to look more like Christ
— whether they’re the star player or the kid who rarely gets in.

That’s where God gently reminds me again of the kind of heart He longs to see in me… and in them.

You see, God wants us to be part of a winning team — His team.

He doesn’t need us to score all the points.

He doesn’t need us to win every game.

He doesn’t need us to prove anything to Him.

But He does want us to:

Have a humble heart

Be willing to learn and endure hard things.

Recognize the people in our corner who show up whether we fail, sit the bench, or succeed.

Stay consistent and present.
Be prepared and ready when it’s our turn.

Put in the daily “practice” of walking with Him so we stay healthy and help those we influence grow.

When I, as the parent, model a humble heart for my kids — especially my preteen — it shapes

them far more deeply than any trophy or scoreboard ever could.

That’s where the real joy is.

Not in medals, playing time, or applause…

But in giving God our hearts.